Xanga is ending...

And I haven't produced any work since I left school....

Maybe this thing shall become my new replacement journal site.... unless I go back to livejournal .. lol
But frankly, can't believe they are shutting down xanga...been using that thing for like 10yrs nows @_@

A Mother's day, without a mother in the house

This must be a bad year lol First time mommy's not here for her own bday and now Mother's day.  She said they won't be coming home soon from the way it seems, since my Grandparents aren't in the best of conditions right now.  Grandma has gallbladder stones that has formed beyond just in that organ, and in all different sizes. @_@" ... She needs surgery but her health condition hinders that option. Chinese herbal meds as a surgery free alternative, but her body still can't handle it. I really hope they can come back to New York soon, at least the medical facilities would put part of our minds at ease.

   Also told mom about recent things with Matt, since she asked about him.  Was that my mom's subtle way of being mad? since she always sounds so even tempered? lol that's my mom for ya ... just nice.  Daddy got on the phone trying to calm the conversation, and getting blamed for taking his side lol Just got put in the same category just for being male lol ... kind of funny lol And then there's my dad going ...what did i do? lol hahahhaa oh man... just too amusing. Then mom's mad at him? and they both tried to tell each other to butt out and chill...it's just funny hahha  I love my parents. I don't know what I would do without them.

     The only good thing would be I got away with crying for a day and a half without her here. She would of been in my room with wet and dry paper towels and a wet towel, trying to get me to stop crying, and making my eyes swollen and blood shot, then allergic to my own skin. I miss my mommy. She would of been in there just looking at my face seeing an expression she deems fishy, or hearing me cry from the next room..even tho I keep it low volume nowadays. She would just pop up lol, I even questioned if she had some kind of ultra sound bat hearing lol. My mom's amazing. 

Senior Thesis Exhibition - BFA of Fine Arts 2010

Directions: Take the #1 Train to W28st.

Thesis Paintings_Day 17 - 51 Hours

          Fridays seem to be a bad idea to paint, as they have a drawing class from 6pm onwards.
I didn't get much done but experimenting with possible backgrounds for the back pose and I worked on the larger portrait a little. Today was only useful for me to realize I really don't need the model to come in anymore. HHmmm... :/

Thesis Paintings_Day 16 - 48.5 Hours

          A day of drowziness and stomach pain...~_~"
Marcy took a took at all of my paintings at start of our class, and told me to focus on 3 paintings that needs more work. But sadly, the long figure painting is the one I am most sick and tired of = I don't want to deal with it any more. I've spent too much quality time with it... :: sighs ::...

The class was mostly spent on the back pose painting, and the rest on the new portrait painting - for fun.

          There will be a lot of over time invested before the show starts, I've arranged Fridays and Saturdays = Total of 12Hours, besides the 6hours of our classes during the week. I will also be dealing with the Thesis Paper :/...hhmm...

Right now the only paintings I will want in the show is the ear painting, and the two from last semester.
The hand, feet, and smaller portrait are all mostly done - but I'm not satisfied with them - nor do I adore them like my babies. :: discontent. ::.. I'm going to try and resolve this back pose painting, as it's my new love of interest.

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          Lastly, Luisa informed me that Josh and Edyta has worked on the show cards, and it has been purchased at 1800Postcards (online) - We'll be splitting the amount on it later.

I was never contacted for any of the meetings, nor informed when I saw them - So I am displeased and feel left out. But I still want it to be a success, so I want to help and get the ball rolling. We still need a press release and the P.R. aspects of our social politics done in the coming weeks. Hhhhmmm......

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          A sample order of business cards came from Moo.com and it was nice, simple and likable.
However, I've been doing research and price comparisons; outside of experimenting layouts....

Lots to do... so little time... - Yet some part of me is feeling reckless and feel like pulling myself off of meds completely @_@" :: sighs ..::... I don't know...

Thesis Paintings_Day 15 - 45.5 Hours

I felt kind of depressed and discouraged since Wednesday night.
I was in a foul emotional state since Friday, and  I was still feeling that way when I was woken up this morning.
So I almost didn't want to participate in my life's activities today.
Li came from CT this morning too...
so she bribed me out with bubble tea after some rational thoughts being debated in the back of my head ...
.......

         First thing I did when I got to school about 5pm(till 10pm..)..was going back on the cropped ear painting; I went back to my old painting style and combined it with my current techniques. I felt kind of estrange for me to be mixing colors with a brush again, and with squeezed paint out from a tube... lol ...But I'm proud to say..."I pulled it off.." hehehe....

          Then I went back to do the shadows on the foot painting...

And Lastly, I pulled out the painting that I took a print of the back pose painting...
I had always like the self portrait that I did of just my facial shadows that was cast from dramatic lighting... so I thought I'd do one of those again...but regular lighting... 

I don't think it came out as nice at all >_<"

The only thing I that I liked about it was the fact that I was drawing with the brush how I did back in figurative drawing class... with my arm stiff and a little sore lol..it made me nostalgic.

Thesis Paintings_Day 14 - 40.5 Hours

          I pitched the idea to Marcy last night and more or less so got rejected about 3 times.... but last time before leaving the classroom was to talk about it next week...~_~" :: sighs ..::... And Butch seems really disappointed when he saw the new changes to the back pose painting...He said I made it looked the same as everything else I've got so far.... (that was kinda upsetting too..but this was when class was over already... )

In short, I felt really down working last night after Marcy rejected my proposal... so I just worked full on in my despair for the whole night. (with new bottles of colors that I bought in on Tuesday night.)



The only piece of good news I have is that Marcy said there don't seem to be a time limit on how many extra hours I can use the Model for this Thesis Show :) :: content..:: but I've asked her to confirm just to be 100% certain. I want to have time to finish these newer pieces that I just started, and be ready for May 10th ...by 05/6th....when they hang our stuff... :: deep sighs...::...

I don't want to have any regrets or bad memories of my paintings during my Senior Thesis. I want to be able to like my own paintings for this show, since I don't like'em most of the time >_<"