Stress & Distress....

It's been nothing but stress at work lately, for over a month now, and the only good thing was finally getting my raise and seeing it on my direct deposit statement yesterday.

Writing 4 people up in 3 days.

Then finding out they had to send out a fleet message because I was off work and a lot of people were calling in for me lol.

People giving me a hard time, but then I resolved it.... lol It's like fixing a problem, once you really figure out what the issue is... otherwise, we're just butting heads...



"It's like I'm trying to preserve something that's already gone"
Ted, from How I Met Your Mother.



I'm back to the ground page where it feels like sex is the only thing he would really "strive" and put in effort for. Perhaps it's due to the instant gratification, besides sex feels good lol. But if sex was all I need a guy to put in effort for ...then a sex buddy would of been a better option and I'd pick one great in most things....... :/
This is not what I'd sign up for, for a boyfriend.... for me.
He slept, I watched him sleep, snored, and gave him my covers so he wouldn't be cold; but then I ended up with the sniffles. When the time comes, he's always eager to leave like an employer stopped paying for hourly wage passed his shift.// Which for me is like WTF ?!?

*After a sleepless night for me, and me wanting to sleep.... he steps on me, and only saying blayt, instead of asking if I'm ok...
*Here I am trying to sleep still.... he asks if I have a hairbrush ... and then catches an attitude when I throw the blanket over my head and told him to figure it out...

So I got up, go dressed, packed everything, and went upstairs.... and for once I didn't wait for him. I felt bad but at the same time, I don't think he cares. Because our time is up? cause it's 10am and he has to go. Or 5am like the last time. I don't know what this is anymore. Last time was even more awkward....Had sex and then because it's 5AM, him telling me he gotta go... wtf ...am i ?? your fucking booty call now??


I don't know what we have anymore, feels like I just invested emotions into a sex buddy relationship...
And next month is our one year anniversary...
This is so tiring right now.... and when I get upset, and only seems like --"I " get upset....
it's like I'm the only one rocking the boat, making trouble for him and for whatever this supposedly is??




-----------Rachel just came back yesterday... saying she is ready for more Chinese lol
So now here's my schedule.....Mon-Fri... with now alternating Saturdays...Sunday ESL w/Drivers and now w/Rachel as well .. (I'm still suppose to have 2 days off within a 7 day week.)

I don't know how Ruben escaped the alternating schedule completely, but he's def. back up when we can't. And it was just like wtf...when I heard Rudy say....on Ruben, he can't Sat. is the day for him and his girl...

I don't know what happened to , "We can't schedule work around your relationship" line...he gave me few weeks back...and now this bullshit. I'm very fed up, in a multi-faceted manner.

I'm tempted to take the Sun & Monday off shift...I just don't like having to be at Concord at 11am, because I'd have to be up around 8am @_@....which screws up my sleeping pattern throughout the week. I'm leaning towards taking off days with actual dress codes....// and now in the rocky state of w/e this relationship is right now... wouldn't mind days where we'd see each other less if this ends.