When I first met you...

12/29/2013
When I first met you... 

I thought you were so friendly and nice; One of the nicest person in the office. 
You're easy to open up to, since you're such a loveable guy. It felt very welcoming for me when I first came to Concord, besides chatting with Wendy.

You were always there to the rescue, I felt taken care of at work. If anything, I thought of you as one of the first friends I made in Concord, that was genuine. 
I trusted you, had faith in you. since you always came through while we were at work.

You were silly, goofy, and a lot of fun to be around since you were always so care free. I thought it was adorable, and all kinds of cute, as always. 
I thought you were a great guy. 

Actually, at some point, I thought I had everything I could ever ask for with you. I might of been waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I felt like the luckiest girl in the world that found her Prince charming, it might of felt unreal like a dream, but I was living it... whenever we were together. I was happy, really happy. 

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You're still the same goof ball I fell in-love with, just no longer reliable to me. 
I just don't know if the person I fell for is real or I fell for a trick you played on me, since you lied so much. 
I've been fighting the reality of what I might be dealing with in m head... and it's been driving me insane. 
I still love you, very much. It just hurts. VERY MUCH.

I could be thinking about you and smiling like a retard spontaneously, or crying uncontrollably and feel like one of the blood vessels in my head is about to pop.  
I don't know how to love you and myself at the same time. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore.
And some part of me keeps feeling like you cheated on me; esp. since you swore so badly saying you didn't. But all I can recall is how you swore so badly about your Dad was in the hospital for real and how you had paper works to prove itl and then destroying my birthday.