11/21/2013 --- Thurs. Content

I reached exhaustion about 10:30am... just typing away... but somehow I couldn't remain asleep for more than 2 hours. And I wasn't even tired. My eyes are a bit sore, even though I actually didn't cry all that much 0-o.... maybe it was adrenaline, that caused my blood pressure to rise... since my eyes were and still is a bit blood shot.

Mommy was gone all day... showing houses.... miracle... lol

Betty spoke with me briefly in the morning, and then told me to come out tonight.

Met Doris for the first time, and then it was Javier and Betty.... right away I knew Betty picked the restaurant because it was a diner... lol But i will never order a drink from that place ever again.... barely tasted any...liquor... fucking all ice and color dye :/

So apparently, Thursday nights = therapy corner for them.
It was interesting, thought it's a real healthy thing to do on a weekly basis. :)
*Heard Javier's ambitions.
*Betty's troubles.... and then Betty being drunk, after half a bottle of blue moon lol So cute lol Never seen her drunk before. She fell asleep on me, like 3 times lol And was acting funny when she was trying to drink her soup hehehe Her spoon missed her mouth lol.
She was stressed about work... and not being able to express herself at will, nor freely. And also the whole relationship thing...So it was a 4-5hr convo. last Sunday...apparently it was 8 hours... @_@"
I'm a little jealous that she has a guy that actually wants to try that badly, and is trying ...however twisted he's actually "trying" in his actions lol. Who the fuck flies over, internationally, almost 3 weeks later ,just for a proper break up??? @_@

I don't recall Doris's issues...She seemed a bit reserved for me.
None the less.... it was a night of sexual puns over 2 orders of creme filled milk shakes lol

Came home, took a look at one of my old online dating profiles.... and saw Jayme...
A man, whom I haven't spoken to in years, after he threw a bitch fit tantrum. We were friends for a good long time too when I was still in high school :/.
Now looking on my page lol... again.

Spoke to Kevin for a few messages, don't got the patience for this crap.  lol

(So far, told my Mom, Betty, and Rachel. I thought about calling Randy and even Mustaphai... but I usually speak to Andrew about these things. I usually don't confide much to people, besides the ones I'm in a relationship with, my best friends... we no longer talk... and then Andrew, Randy, Betty. ... even Ben lol Sadly... felt kind of odd when Moises came into my head for a sec. )
I didn't say much to Betty, since she seem like she has her hands full. But she did kept on asking me if I was ok and how I was feeling.
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It's weird how I managed to not cry as much when I was home. But when I got on the train.... every other thought was triggering my tear ducts lol I felt more alone in a crowd waiting at Grand Central, than being in my bedroom all by myself.
Thank god I actually felt a little tired on the way back, managed to nap a little.

(The good thing about being unemployed, is now I have my regular routines back lol My daily vitamins, skin care routine after a shower for the face and body; almost forgot how relaxing it was. My Eczema is dwindling down, thank god ...lol was killing me.  )

I don't know what kind of depression this one is going to be, but I have my fingers crossed on the non-eating kind lol ... the no appetite after a while and crazy GYM time. Happy to report, no suicidal thoughts kicked in yet. The only thing I felt was memory loss... and don't feel as up to par. The lack of motivation feeling :/

Oh well.... it'll kick in fully...eventually... lol

And it was weird that I posted a journal on my QQ page...and some guy forwarded to his page @_@" WTF ...

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