Kelly Clarkson- Already Gone

Feeling like the other person is always ready to take the easy way out. Or perhaps the easier way out....

Either way, god forbid they put in more effort, this would be too much for them....as it'd work out ...and I'd expect it to work... lol

I always know when I'm not placed first. He, himself, will first and foremost.... always be in front of me.
I have empathy towards that choice decision.
But in a relationship, when I've never placed him as second choice... just doesn't sit with me well.


For a man that's "supposedly" trying to make amends with me and all his broken promises....
you would think he'd take the opportunity to fulfill one of the first promises ever made to me, by laying off sex for a month. We're already 2 weeks in, from fighting and me having had a period. But he just couldn't pick the bigger picture over sex --- once again. lol

I'm dating a man who doesn't even know me, and it's been over a year.... I know what I fell in love with, but I don't he knows. It just doesn't feel like it's me anymore. Better yet, I don't think it was ever me, it was always how I made him felt comfortable about being himself, to be comfortable in his own skin while with another human being. It's always how he can love himself and care for himself a little more. I was never in that equation, it was always himself and his "me me me me ME".

Promised me a movie that we'd see in theaters for way over a month, minimum.... and as soon as I realize it's not playing in the theater we're had planned to see it in; all he can say is "I'll download it baby".
I asked for him to find it in another movie theater, I knew I was half assed because I looked and he didn't.
So he didn't have any answers for where else this movie is playing at a day later.  And then blaming it on yahoo search engine, even there...I saw 2 theaters in NYC playing that move. Google offered a lot more theater options, but he never looked.

Effort.... lol This is his words...." i have let you down but i wont again, i will try for you any which way humanly possible, i should have never made you feel this way 3:09 AM" "

If humanly possible was this limited, I think we'd still be trying to figure out how to make fire.

It's efforts like these...that makes me question why I'm in a relationship and not single. How do you go 2 strikes out of 3 in like 24 hours, not even...
I'm disappointed. I'm full of resentment, and I'm angry from all the pain that has been inflicted upon me.