I recall buying a book he wanted from Union Sq. which he also wanted me to read... so I may receive the words of God and etc etc ... well...I ended up on her page from his...watched two videos from Joyce Meyer's broadcasts and it did put a smile on my face, and brighten how I felt a bit.
(I was cleaning my room and came across all the letters he had wrote, self delivered, or post marked.... each of them lengthy as a novel @_@" ) I read through some of them again, and felt loved, it was nice. But at the same time, I recalled the damages he had done, the pain, and the hate I once felt for that man. Oddly enough, as much as I loved Juan, I never managed to hate him. And as hurt as I am by Matt, all I feel is an abundance of love for him and the longing to be with him. Hours ago, I took a nap... I had a bad dream. Daddy had woken me up in the middle of my sleep to talk to me about the lady downstairs...again.
In my dream, for some odd reason, Josh, Christian and one other guy who gave me the impression that was his sibling as well...was staying at the house; while my Father was present as well. I walked to the room for my Grandparents, only to see the stranger sitting in the chair by the desk, eating walnut shrimp like a starved person and having made a huge mess on the carpet floor. It was as if the whole floor was the plate for what he was eating, it was everywhere. Then I went to the small room by the staircase, where Daddy has been resting recently.... only to find Josh and Christian there... and some where in all this...my Dad was there.....upset I think....
I was looking for you, walking through out my house. But all I saw were people I had cut off, and had stopped talking to for years... and a stranger that I've never even seen before, leaving me a mess to clean up after. The only response I got, and I think it was from my Dad, was that you had left... a long time ago, enough time to think you would already be somewhere under tunnel on your way home. You had left, without saying a word to me, and I was left looking for you aimlessly. All I wanted to do was cry, and that's exactly what I did after I woke up and realized the dream I had just had.... and cried myself back to sleep.
I don't understand why the loved ones I had cast away were in my dream.... :/ esp. one I recently spoke to and then realized why I had cast him away to begin with.
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Set a firm date stating the first day you will refuse to dwell on the past and stick with it.
“Apply what you've learned from this breakup to your next relationship,” advises Dr. Whitbourne. “What lessons can you carry forward so that you reduce the potential for the next relationship to end the same way?
http://iamfedupwithyourliesandcheating.com/recovering-from-a-breakup/
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