I will NOT be half-assed & be 2nd Option to anyone.

2010, his FB
"Following a phone conversation on the evening of Sunday Sept. 5th - I went & picked up the NYS Driver's Manual from the DMV on Tuesday Sept. 7th. Two days later I went back & got my Learner's Permit for my Driver's License on Thursday Sept. 9th. On Saturday Sept 11th I took the mandatory 5 hr Pre-Licensing Course & obtained my Completion Certificate. Now I've got my Road Test scheduled for Friday Oct.1st (:"




Finding that status post, made me felt kinda bad for the ultimatum at the time--- while not realizing what hardship I actually proposed. But he did it, because he "wanted it" bad enough. So I knew he would try his best when it came to me. I gave him a month to get his drivers license or to never bother me again. I didn't want to see him, hear from him, or even the thought of him at the time. 


Even out of the bad times, I recall the good....collectively...of what I've had in my past. 
They were real. They were kind. And I was sure they invested in me their heart in full, regardless how stupid their actions came to measure by the end of it all.

I had hopes.
I had dreams.
I saw pictures of many lives that will never come to be.

But I fought so hard to hold on to those lives I saw pictures of... illusions of... lies, broken promises, false hope of aspiration. I was being undervalued and I resent that.