Batteries

Sometimes I really wonder what I'm doing is right or wrong... Or maybe I'm just being really irresponsible.

One liar after another... except one stayed in character during majority of the time span, and the other just lacked skills. Dating have been very exhausting, and beyond taxing on myself mentally, and emotionally.

I'm become more and more jaded as life pass me by.
I still lack purpose... drive, and reason to stay motivated.

Each human being that has ever meant anything in my life, seem to work like a battery for me; some rechargeable, others one time use, some half ass used, or just bootleg trying to look like name brand. And the longer I keep those useless ones......it just looks horrible as time progresses.... like a chemical infestation from its core, just seeping out of that metal wrapping of pure advertisement bullshit.

"Which man would just volunteer that info."
I really thought the one that decides to spend the rest of his life with me, would tell me everything.
The one that pictures having a child with me to look like each other, would want to share his life with me; not just the good but the bad as well.
The one that tells me he loves me and doesn't want anyone else.... would ...


I've had a man that would use me to his advantage when his survival instincts kicks in, but at the same time would offer me his life if needed... or so he said ... lol But at least he made it believable for me. He tried, really hard.

Then I have this one, that unless it's sex and food... I don't really see much effort.




I'm better off by myself it seems.